


Of Bath Bombs and Hobbits

by Telesilla



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-11
Updated: 2006-05-11
Packaged: 2017-10-05 13:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Orlando's back gives him trouble, the Hobbits take over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Bath Bombs and Hobbits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rawiyaparand](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=rawiyaparand).



"No really guys," Orlando says, thinking that of all the nights to have back trouble, Saturday is the absolute worst. _Sometimes, life just sucks._ "I just need to go home, take a long bath and then some pain pills. I'll be OK."

"We'll help," Elijah says, looking at the other Hobbits for support.

"You probably shouldn't drive while you're in pain, Orli," Sean says seriously.

"Exactly!" Billy says. "We'd never forgive ourselves if you got into a wreck."

"I won't...." Orlando begins and then yelps as Dom goes digging in his pockets. "Oi! Get out of my trousers!"

"Too late," Dom says, waving Orlando's keys. "Sean, you and Elijah take Orli's car and we'll take him in ours."

"As long as Sean drives!" Orlando yells as Sean and Elijah head for the car park.

"I can drive!" Elijah says. "Did you hear that, Sean? Orli thinks I can't drive."

"My beautiful Jeep," Orlando moans as they disappear out of view.

"Now don't you worry your pretty little head about a thing," Billy says, grabbing his jacket. "You get him out to the car Sblomie, I need to talk to Viggo for a sec."

"Oh God," Orlando says to Dom. "Don't drag Viggo into this. Please?"

"Relax," Dom says as he gets Orlando settled in the car. "Our king won't see you when you're not 100%."

"Wanker," Orlando mutters, leaning back against the seat and sighing. To be honest, he hates driving when his back is spasming. _Maybe I can get rid of them when they get me home,_ he thinks, but he rather doubts it.

The Jeep isn't anywhere to be seen when they get to the house and Orli grunts a little as he tenses, forgetting about his back. "Don't worry so," Billy says. "They probably stopped at the store."

"I don't need anything," Orlando protests. "I've got plenty of food."

"Right," Dom scoffs. "I've seen what you call food. Has it ever occurred to you that you're not a starving student any more?"

"I know, but I _like_ Pot Noodle."

"Not Poodle!" Billy says brightly.

"Not Foodle." Dom rolls his eyes in disgust. "Thank Christ Lij had Sean with him or you'd end up with cereal that was more sugar than anything else."

"Guys," Orlando says tiredly. "Can you turn it down a notch or two?"

"But we go to eleven," Dom says, although Orlando notices that Dom is in fact speaking more quietly.

"Do you still have your key under the mat in the back?" Billy asks, and when Orlando nods, Dom gets out of the car. A moment later, Orlando's front door opens and Dom waves.

"Didn't even need the key," he says as Orlando and Billy make their way into the house. "You forgot to lock your back door."

"I hoped you checked the house for rapists," Billy said, looking around nervously. "I value my chastity."

"Face like yours," Dom says as he follows Orlando down the hall, "you'd have to pay to be unchaste."

"Pot, meet kettle," Billy says, trailing after them. "No, you lie down," he adds, turning to Orlando once they're all in the bedroom. "Let Dom run...."

"Orlando Bloom is the biggest girl's blouse ever," Dom interrupts from the bathroom. "How much shampoo does one guy with a mohawk need? And ooooo! Lavender bath salts, and Christ, what the fuck are these, bath bollocks?"

"Language Dominic," Billy says as he joined Dom in the bathroom. A moment later, Orlando hears them singing "Big Balls" as they run water into the tub.

"Oi!" he shouts. "Use two of the cinnamon bombs, OK?"

"Honey I'm hoooome!" Elijah yells from the front door.

"You're just in time," Dom calls out. "We're about to blow up Orli's bathtub."

"Oh hey!" Elijah says, pounding down the hall and pushing into Orlando's bathroom. "Fuck! You have more girly shit than Hannah!"

A moment later, Sean appears in the door and hands Orlando a cold beer, and Orlando thinks that maybe, just maybe things are looking up.

"Bath's run," Dom announces. When Orlando carefully pulls off his shirt, he stares at all of them.

"Do you guys mind?" he asks, realizing that his earlier thought might have been a little premature.

"Not very well," Elijah says. "It's not like we haven't seen it all before."

"Guys," Sean says, "there's beer and food in the kitchen." Orlando gives Sean a grateful look as the rest of the Hobbits stampede toward the kitchen. "You need help?" Sean asks.

"Nah," Orlando says, "I'm good." Sean turns his back and Orlando finishes stripping down. "Thanks, Seanie," he adds as he slides into the tub. "Oh fuck, this is heavenly."

He's just relaxed when Elijah appears in the doorway. "Here," he says, handing Orlando a sandwich and another beer.

"I can't drink," Orlando says, "I think I'm going to need my pills."

"Which would work better?" Billy says from the bedroom. "Pills, or beer and dope?"

"You guys got..." Orlando begins and then he grins. "From Vig, right?"

An hour later, Orlando is sprawled on his bed, boneless and mellow as Billy and Dom act out obscene versions of panto sketches and Sean and Elijah laugh. There's a nice fat doob making the rounds, he's got Tim Tams and ice cream and the pain in his back is only a fading memory.

_Sometimes, life is really pretty fucking good._

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://rawiyaparand.livejournal.com/profile)[**rawiyaparand**](http://rawiyaparand.livejournal.com/) who asked for Bath-Time Orlando from my [28 Fic Meme](http://telesilla.livejournal.com/417612.html) list.


End file.
